He's Got Wandering Eyes

I used to make a zine. It was a scrappy little mini-comic that made no bones about my lack of skill as an artist, but it was heartfelt and contained some decent turns of phrase. In one issue, I wrote about going to see Yo La Tengo with a group of friends, shortly before my birthday. I think I was about to turn 27. That was 12 years ago.

The night written about in my zine included a wonderful cast of friends, including Patti, Jonathan, Ned, Alexes L and M (at least, I think Alex M was there). It was a great night. I loved my friends with a fierceness I didn't know could exist in post-high school relationships. The music was terrific and somehow the Opera House was transformed into something good. I harboured a crush on at least a dozen people; one of them was the right one.

Time has altered those friendships. Some are stronger, others have all but disappeared. It's rare that live music holds the transformative power it once did for me. The last couple of times I've seen YLT didn't have those breath-capturing moments that used to occur all the time. I considered not going to the show.

Considered it.

And that night, there was Brad, Shannon and Jenny: three that I hold dearer than gold. And there was Anu and Alex E. (why are there so many Alexes in my life? not that i'm complaining) and Alex's friend Neville and his friends who I met but only briefly. There were pre-show beers and the meeting of old and new. Everyone was funny and charming and cute and smart (which, when I think about it, describes most of my friends): I'm so fucking lucky. Even before we went to the venue -- the Opera House which is so often stinky -- I felt the surge, the golden, warming spirit, the unrelenting joy.

And then Yo La Tengo opened with "Double Dare".